Oh right, I have a blog
There's something funny to me about only remembering this at the end of the year. It's not surprising, it feels like everyone I follow is doing their wrapups, letting out their final thoughts on whatever this year was.
2025 didn't start like a rough year, at least no rougher than any other in recent history. Work was going well, with plans to ship a game in 2025. I was planning a trip with my partner and friend. I was finally getting movement on The Big Surgery after nearly two years of back and forth. And these things happened! Our game released, and it's the first time I've actually felt really proud of a project. Our trip to Japan went so well we're already planning the next one. And my 2 year wait-time for bottom surgery dropped to just 5 months.
At the same time, like seemingly everyone else I know, 2025 was one of the toughest years I can think of. This is the year, after finally coming off of work-induced anti-anxiety meds, I experienced some of the worst, most persistent work stress I've ever experienced. It got bad enough that I was looking forward to major, life-altering surgery as a reprieve. It got better before I got to that, and I'll admit I learned from the experience, but it was an awful cost that I never want to experience again. And then the surgery, vaginoplasty. I knew there was a limit to how prepared I could be just from reading stories and documents, and I certainly ran against those limits in the early weeks. Nothing could really prepare me for how uncomfortable everything was, how scary every hiccup would be, or how much fucking lube dilation uses (the 50 gallon barrel feels more practical every day). But mostly I wasn't prepared for how slow everything would be. Days would go by with seemingly no change, and I'd sit and worry that I wasn't getting better, that I'd never be better.
But then I started getting better. My wounds closed up, I was able to move around more, I didn't feel so scared anymore. I'm still recovering, but I can actually see the end of this now.
So that's how I'm going into 2026. Back to work, doing more physio. Healing.
There's a lot I want to do next year. Maybe I'll write about them, but let's not plan on it.
Happy New Year, let's make this one better than the last.